Tuesday, April 5, 2011
There is an old saying...Opposites attract, and then they annoy. When there is crisis in your life, you tend to revert to the very core of who you are. If your and your spouse are opposites, that can cause some bumpy road. When we learned that Tyler had cancer, and that it was moving aggressively, we immediately went to war with cancer. Kathy fought with her strength, which faith, quite trust, and comfort. I fought with my strength. All out war. Questioning every treatment, spearing every option, tracking down and demanding the best doctors and hospitals. One might think it is a good combination. But one would be wrong. Actually I guess it is a good combination. It saved Tyler's life. But our relationship became a train wreak. From what I'm told, this is not unusual. Tyler is now 2 1/2 years in remission, and doing fantastic. And Kathy and I continue to work through the damaged relationship. The bottom line is this: There is no right or wrong. We both did what we thought was needed to save Tyler. Every decision was based on love for him. And we will never fully know what decisions helped, hurt, or were indifferent to Tyler's recovery. So that brings it all down to this simple reality: I love you, Kathy. I am happy that today we have been married for 25 years. We will continue to work through everything. We will continue to fight to win, and learn from each other. And maybe, over the next 25 years or so, we'll have all figured out and write a book. I love.